Thursday, July 14, 2011

Beauty Tips for Medieval Mavens

What's the magic formula for the perfect medieval complexion?  

Here are some beauty tips to enchant that errant knight:

To achieve a flawless alabaster countenance, pat your face with white flour.  And if you're terrified of freckles (the bane of all medieval ladies), hide inside the castle at all times.  If you must go outside, don a veil. 

The lack of sunshine and poor diet are sure to give you that glamorous pasty look.

Isabeau of Bavaria advises: Keep you skin soft and white by bathing in asses' milk.  And for beauty cream that really works...Combine boar's brains, crocodile glands, and wolf's blood.  Smooth lotion on skin.

To make a do-it-yourself sauna: Wrap yourself in a wide piece of linen. 

 Stand on hot stones, covering them with the hem of your cloth.  Have your serfs douse you with water.  It's fun for them and healthy for you.